Life

Good day all!! It’s been it’s a minute–well actually, it’s been months!! As always though, hoping all has been well with you and yours. 🤗

Since my last post, I have celebrated quite a few victories such as learning that my first born, Jokenzie, is soon to be a first-time father to a baby boy, Cassius Reign in February!!   **Side Note: I am requesting to be called BeBe. 😏

I was able to fly out and witness my daughter Reagan being promoted to USMC Corporal, and pinned by her big brother,  Petty Officer 1st Class Broughton—I’m a proud Momma to say the least. I lost around 5-7 pounds, which I eventually found again, and surprisingly don’t hate, so YAAAAYYY! 😃

Our beloved garden succumbed to the extreme summer heat, despite our attempts to keep it watered and free from weeds, yet I am happy that it yielded multiple harvests which fed our family and those in the community. I am also confident that our next garden will be just as successful–perhaps even more.

And finally, my two brothers Chris and DJ, my dear mother Faye, myself, my son Jokenzie and my husband Ray have all been blessed to celebrate another birthday amongst the living.

The latter is perhaps the greatest victory of all, considering the number of family and friends lost within the last few months who will never again celebrate a birthday with their loving ones. Since I last posted, I have experienced three personal losses–my three uncles–Uncle Bill, Uncle Wilbert and most recently Uncle Ray Charles (RC as we lovingly called him).

As of late, it seems that at least once a week, sometimes more often, I learn of a friend or acquaintance who has experienced the loss of their spouse, sibling and tragically even their child, and instantly the common and daily annoyances that I encounter on occasion and consider as problems, are actually no problems at all.

I am reminded of something I was once told during a conversation about everyday issues: if given the opportunity, we should each take the time to write down our so called ‘problems’, throw it into a ‘Problem Bowl’, mix it around really good, then draw out and read someone else’s problem.  In doing so, we would almost always realize that others are experiencing real pain, loss and grief, and in ways that far overshadow the things that are merely inconveniences and minor worries for us. And as a result, we would gladly throw that real problem back into that bowl, search for the one we just threw in and loudly proclaim, “I’ll Take Mine, Thanks.”

Life is hard, unscripted and filled with uncertainty. In fact, the only thing we can absolutely be certain to experience in life is the death of those that we love the most.  Though the recent losses of my three uncles were painful for me, I can only imagine the pain experienced by their spouse, children and siblings and my pain dulls in comparison. My heart truly goes out to each of them.

To any of you who may read this post and have experienced the recent loss of your beloved, my heart aches for you and I pray that you receive God’s peace and comfort as only He can give.

For those of us who at this time are healed of the pain from past losses, and are in a season where all is well with each of our loved ones, may we hug our beloveds a bit longer, speak a little kinder and remind each other that we love them. You never know when the last time may be.

Finally, when we are tempted to complain about the minor inconveniences that life tends to bring, let us be reminded of and pray for others and the real problems that they are having to endure at this time, and remember to say “I’ll Take Mine, Thanks.”

Until next time, be blessed. 💓

Good day all!! I hope all is well with you and yours. 😊

As a child, I was nowhere close to athletic, but one of the few games I was actually enjoyed and was pretty good at was the very common game of ‘Tag’.

This is one game I wasn’t shy at playing, as its only requirement was one’s willingness to participate, so I was as good of a contender as anyone.  The game of Tag is simple, yet exhilarating as it keeps the players constantly on alert so as to not be tagged as the dreaded ‘IT’ and should you be tagged, you should quickly tag someone else to make them ‘IT’.  But perhaps, what makes the game the most fun is that it all begins unexpectedly—-one person taps another, then speeds away while shouting ‘Tag, You’re IT’ and if you are anywhere close to where the game began, and are willing to play, you could become an active player at any given moment. You never see it coming!! I mean, how much fun would it be if the game was scheduled???😜

If you are of a ‘seasoned’ age such as I am, you may think that your Tag playing days are far behind you, but not so.  In reality, we each are invited to participate in life’s game of Tag almost daily, but very few, if any of us, are aware of this fact.

I was given this revelation a few years ago, and often have to remind myself that even though the Tag game has started and others have joined, I myself don’t have to participate.

Just like the actual game of Tag, life’s version of the game begins just as unexpectedly—usually by someone who ‘tags’ you in, and you become an active player.  But the difference is that there is no audible shout of ‘Tag, You’re IT’, so until you realize you are playing, this game could last round after countless round.

Another contrast of life’s version of Tag is that this game is usually no fun. If you are like me, you wake up each morning thankful, maybe even reciting your daily affirmation, and equipped with every intent to have a positive, productive day at work, school or even at home.  But not even an hour later, the wrong tone in a text message from your spouse quickly erases any hope of a good day, and ‘Tag, You’re It’!! The next thing you know, you’re swapping strongly worded messages back and forth and the game is on.

Perhaps you purpose that you won’t get offended easily, engage in petty gossip or concern yourself in matters which don’t concern you, but as soon player one tags you, you tag them back and before you realize it, a dozen more players have joined,  the Tag game lasts for most of the day and sometimes beyond!

Because I am SO imperfect, I have to be on guard daily–hourly if I’m honest, so that I don’t get pulled into situations and conversations that I don’t need to be in. Just as importantly, I have to be careful not to tag anyone else in what they shouldn’t be in. I pray daily for God to keep my heart and intentions pure towards others, because I desire the same from others towards me. I don’t always succeed, but I won’t stop trying.

The good news is that the unique thing about the game of Tag is that as quickly as it began, it could end just as quickly. The game is over when those who were playing become occupied with something else and everyone is no longer interested in tagging anyone else.  As I mentioned before, the only requirement to play the game is to be a willing participant.  So the next time you realize that the game has started and you’ve been tagged, just don’t play the game.  When you are tagged to listen to some hot gossip, change the subject.  When you are tagged to ‘go off’ because of what someone said or what you THOUGHT they said, resist the urge. When you are tagged to take sides with your friend or relative against a person who you don’t even know, remind yourself to pick your battles, because that one is not yours.

BUT!!!  Should you find yourself participating in a game of Tag, let it be one of positivity and Good Vibes and keep it going!!

Positivity is just as contagious as negativity, so let’s be intent on tagging as many people as we possibly can!!

I’ll be player one and start this round:  You are creative, stronger than you know, uniquely beautiful, you are wealthy, worthy, successful and so perfectly IMPERFECT!!!!

Tag, You’re IT‘!!! 😘❤

Good day all!! As always, I hope all is well with you and yours. 😊

So around two weeks ago, I bought a new phone, but not out of necessity—- Ray dropped and shattered his phone and it was not functioning, so he had no other choice but to buy a new one AGAIN!!! (This is not the first time, lol).  I take more care in handling expensive electronics than does Mr. Broughton, and there was not one thing wrong with my old phone, so I would have been content in keeping it. However, since there was a promotion at Verizon which made our bill cheaper if we bought two, I honestly saw no harm in getting a new one for myself.

The saleslady was very pleasant and thorough, showing us a variety of phones and providing a brief description of each, which was unnecessary really, as the only question either of us had was ‘Which one is gonna cost me the least?’  The least expensive phones we decided on were actually pretty fancy gadgets, fully loaded with some impressive feature and apps—in fact, the phone is so fancy, that just the other day, the ‘Assistant’ app on my phone was activated by the voice in a television commercial—WOW!!  However, I am very basic–we both are actually, and we will only be using our phones’  basic features like texting, calling, camera and internet—we could probably get by with a flip phone, lol!

More than once and quite recently, I have found myself in conversation where I have shared a rather unkind opinion of myself.  Admittedly, I have compared myself to a gadget or product being manufactured on an assembly line, and concluded that during the final phase of quality inspection, I must have been passed off as being complete, though I was missing some essential parts which weren’t noticeable just by glancing at me. Somewhere along the way, I developed this perception that I was only basic, normal–nothing extraordinary, talented or special, especially when I compare myself to others who seem to have it all figured out.

However, when I shared this opinion in a conversation just last week with my dear friend, Tonya K, I was suddenly reminded of this new phone I just bought and was struck with a realization which I also shared with her. As I mentioned before, I am satisfied to operate my phone at the basic level, even though it is created and equipped to do so much more.  I even admitted that I discarded the phone’s manual once I was comfortable in operating the basic functions and apps–I was not interested in any of it’s ‘special features’, and if I happened to discover any of them, it would be entirely accidental, as it was when the ‘Assistant’ app was awakened by my tv.

I now realize that just like this phone, I was made wonderfully and born fully loaded with some impressive and unique features—no missing parts. And because just because I had never used some of the features and apps, didn’t mean that they were not there all along.  The only difference between myself and those that I seemed to compare myself to, was the fact that they were utilizing all of their features and apps.  I had been so comfortable operating at the ‘basic level’ for most of my life, I have allowed my own ‘features and apps’ to lie dormant, failing to operate at full potential.  BUT NO MORE!!!!

Though we are ALL imperfect in some way, we are also Created wonderfully—-each fully loaded with our own unique measure of talents and abilities, and if you have ever felt as if you are insufficient, missing some essential parts, or even basic at best—may you, too, discover all that has been hidden within, may you live the life which was always intended for you to live and may you exceed  EVERY expectation.

And for those who have been fortunate enough to discover your features early on, may you discover even more, and inspire others to do the same. 😘

I hope this has helped someone.  Be blessed. ❤

Hello everyone!! I do hope that all is well with each of you and yours.

**Warning*** I will be extremely random and transparent while flashing my flaws today, lol!

Have you ever noticed that television advertising for products which target a particular audience or age group, is extremely powerful and effective?  To use for an example, consider the television commercials advertising the latest and most popular toys.  The best advertisements are usually very visually appealing, and the toys featured are always shown performing amazing feats, with flashing lights or donned in the fanciest of outfits. Combine these elements with a catchy background tune, and children will almost always beg for that very product.

As effective as this type of advertising is, it can be just as equally misleading. However, one is only misled if they neglect to hear the key phrases at the end of the advertisement such as “Each sold separately’ or ‘Accessories not included‘.  For advertisement purposes, a product will hardly, if ever, be featured in a basic state–as it is the extra frills and accessories which actually sell the product.  And if one is not aware that these ‘extras’ are each sold separately and are not included at the time of purchase, they could easily feel slighted. But the truth is, the last line is merely advising the potential buyer that if they want to obtain the maximum quality and performance of the product featured, they must be willing to pay the price, but if not, they should not expect the same results as those advertised. The same is true in our lives.

Let me say this: I am extremely grateful to have everything I need and much more— I really am blessed.  Yet I have to admit–I am not quite satisfied with where I am in my life, and I don’t feel that I have accomplished what it is I am destined to do. Honestly, I don’t yet know what that is, but the advertisement in my head doesn’t match reality.  I often find myself feeling much like a slighted consumer, but now I realize that it’s the one who failed to listen to the last line in the advertisement.   I now understand that in order to have more out of life, I would need to pay the price to obtain the results advertised in my life’s vision for myself.  And I don’t mean material possessions necessarily—I am referring to a sense of  accomplishment, success–being proud of myself.  In some instances, I am where I am as a result of being gripped with self-doubt, insecurity and fear, when it comes to pursuing big dreams and taking risks.   In other words, I tend to play it safe because of my extreme fear of failure. But ultimately, there is no one or no thing to blame other than myself because almost always, I am just not willing to pay the price to get further along.

To provide a recent example (and one that nags at me most), I am one course and a Capstone away from obtaining a Master’s Degree in Public Administration. ONE course!!! This means that I have completed 30 of the 36 hours of the necessary coursework to obtain this Master’s, yet I stopped just short of my goal, but why???

Initially, it was because during the time that I was enrolled in my very last course of graduate school in January of 2021, my youngest Reagan, had just left home to complete basic training for the US Marine Corp, so I was experiencing what it is known as the ‘Empty Nest Syndrome’. My oldest Jokenzie, had left home to join the Navy in 2014, which was extremely hard, but after several days of weeping in the fetal position, I eventually adjusted, because I had to pull myself together as Reagan was still home with us. She graduated high school in 2018, and completed two years at an HBC before deciding to join the Marines, and up until she left, I would see her almost every day. But when she did leave, I had an extremely difficult time adjusting, and was not in the mental state to concentrate on my classes in graduate school, so I withdrew, and have never gone back. Now, I have very much adjusted to having an empty next–in fact I quite enjoy it,  and my mental space is somewhat healthy, so there is no reason for not completing my Master’s other than the fact that I just don’t want to continue paying the price for it.  Sometimes I wonder what went wrong with me…..

And this was only one example of my continual refusal to pay the price.  There are career opportunities that I did not and still do not pursue, because it would require me to update my job resume, which I absolutely HATE!! I settled for a profession that I am not passionate about because I gave up in trying to obtain work in my field of study (I have a Bachelors in Computer Information Systems) due to my lack of experience, and I was not willing to relocate in order to have a better chance at landing this type of work.

Very recently, I attempted to write a children’s book but quickly gave up because of an honest critique from my own SON, after he read a very rough draft.  Might I add, Jokenzie is no where near being an expert in writing or literature, and is one who I can’t even recall bringing home a text book!!!  But if he didn’t think it was good enough, what chance would I have with a publishing company?  And for an added bonus, I carry more weight in my mid-section than any other part of my body, and aside from genetics, it is because I am not willing to sacrifice the foods I love or take the time out to exercise.

I could go on and on flashing more of my flaws, but my point is, for the most part, I am living the life that I budgeted for.  Of course, there are some things that happen in our lives which are beyond our control—this is inevitable.  If and when these things happen, and they will, we can only pray for the grace and strength to overcome, and be careful not to blame ourselves for the things we could not see coming.  But in areas where we have complete control, such as the list I just shared, there is no reason for us to be envious or resentful of others because they seemingly live the life we think we should be living, especially if they were willing to pay the prices that we are not willing to pay.

So, if this speaks to you, go ahead and finish the courses, update the resume, relocate, go for a walk, pray a little more, take more steps of faith, go to marriage counseling—pay the price, so that you too, can have all the ‘Accessories not included‘ in your life.

Thank you for visiting and for reading. I look forward to sharing more soon and if you have any ideas for upcoming blogs or would like to share your thoughts as a guest blogger, let me know!!.